I HATE THIS!!!

i hate how much love and attention ive given to everyone.. i hate it why do i constantly try to help people? i have problems of my own you know!!! why does no one ask how i am doing its blah blah blah about how horrible your life is... dont get me wrong ill stand by you no matter what! but i never get any recognition for what i do around here. what i do for you ppl! i hate it... why can no one come to me and say hey are you ok hows life? everyone thinks that im such a nice popular happy little person... but i have depressions too... i wish that someone would just recognize that..maybe i wouldnt be writing this, maybe i wouldnt be crying harder than before because i feel all alone in this world... just maybe my heart would unfreeze and i would find that longing ive been craving al my life. i have friends i have my family i have everything... well sort of i dont feel like i belong to any one i feel alone... everything is just so... complicated. when i see those cute couples all over school i think of how much i want it. but its never the right guy. im never a girlfriend im always a best friend... what is so unlikable about me? i just wish i could be what everyone wanted... but im too busy being me... maybe i should change, maybe i should bend and twist the way everyone wants me too. then maybe everyone would except me... maybe i would get the same love and attention everyone gives eachother. evryone thought they had me figured out..well heres a new side so realize it and dont judge me just think about for once in your life thats theres someone out there who is hurt and lost and that they need just as much love and attention as everyone deserves. dont just assume they get it! pay attention.