What I'm About To Say

I've been thinking a lot lately
How much people have impacted me and all
Everyone I've known has a made a diffrence
From my best friend to my worst enemy
To the random stranger that called me pretty
Every single person has made me who I am
And I couldnt be more thankful
For the crazy girl in high school that taught me to be confident in myself
For the boy who thought I was beautiful enough to kiss for the first time
For my family
and for my greatest enemy
Who taught me how to stand up for myself
no matter how much trouble it got me into...
haha wow lifes been hitten me so hard lately...
I'm growing up becoming an adult...
Everythings changing...
Okay well one things not
and thats my love life
I'm still single as ever...
Today my mom and I dropped off a bunch of invites for this party were having
It was normal and all...
Until I dropped one off at his house.
I expected his mother to come to the door
(she was who we invited because after all I dont think boys are interested in purses)
Anyways...he opened that door and I went weak at the knees...
I guess I've liked him for 8 years now...
Wow thats a long time.
Heres the history...I moved to the street where I currently live at the young age of ten years old.
He lived right behind me...
I was teased in 5th grade...for whatever reason the girls in my class decided they didnt like me...and continued to torture me
For some reason we always talked...
Almost every night just me and him
He would listen...he saw past my pain and thought of me as a friend...
Well I thought of him as more...at 10 years old
I had a crush on a boy who didnt feel the same
but was there never the less
ALWAYS
through out the years we shared slow dances and jokes
me being angry with him for stupid reasons
and falling in and out of love with him..
Turns out I thought I was over him
but when he answered that door...
my stomach filled with butterflies
the only problem about me seeing a future with him?
I'm almost sure that he doesnt feel the same way...
But you know what?
He was the first boy that made feel like life was worth living...the first person I knew cared besides my family....because hes the only one that still keeps up the effort to talk to me..
What I just said broke my heart in a million ways...
But I would never ever wish my life be any different