Secrets

We all have a secret...Mine is that I think I'll never be loved...here I am 18 years old and Iv'e never had a boyfriend. I've been kissed...but I was used. Used as a rebound chick...and it hurt...only further convincing me that I'll never be loved...I'll never marry, and I'll never have the two beautiful boys I've dreamed about. You can tell me that it's not true...you can try and convince me that I'm wrong and that I'll meet Mr.Right...but nothing...NOTHING will change my mind. Every time I decide that it might happen for me I just get my heart torn right out of my chest. It hurts...I've never experienced love...not true love...I'm not talking about family and friend love. I'm talking about the love that binds two people together. Where both people feel so in tune in mind, body and spirit. I've seen and I admit I've envied it. I just want it so bad...to hold someones hands, to kiss them, to hold them, to care for them and love them with all your heart. It seems that all of my best friends have been there, experienced that. Yet they dont see my pain. I hide it of course, I dont want them to worry. I think my biggest fault is my fear of embracing who I am...I'm scared I'm not beautiful enough or funny enough. I fear I'm just not right for anyone. Yet when I like someone...I'm just to scared to admit it...Please superman batman ANYONE just be my super hero. Be knight in shining armor...because I'm a damsel in distress...and I sit here pleading...thinking...no... knowing he'll never come...because I'm so far from reality they cant hear my cries...